Monday, March 20, 2006

Oh, No!

Stopping by the Library after work several times a week is usually part of my going home routine. They have Quick Flicks, fairly new DVD releases that you can check out for 3 days. Can hardly remember the last time we've rented a movie. Today as I was perusing the shelves a book caught my eye ...
"CrapCars" ... Traveling from the 1960's to the '90s, Crap Cars showcases the cheapest, the tackiest, and the most mechanically inept cars ...
Displayed in a list of the top 50, our first car ... the Datsun B-210 was number 24 ... cringe! Here's what it was known for, "If this car was ... anything, it was AAA's best friend." Walt bought this car a month before we were married while I was working at the beauty shop. We nicknamed it "the bullet." On the positive side, it got great gas mileage for Walt's daily commute to work -- but it did have a few major flaws. The driver's seat broke after several years of use. If you accelerated too quickly, the seat would fly back and you could be looking at the roof of the car instead of the road!
O.K. ... drum roll ... the number one crap car ... the Ford Mustang ll. And yes, we owned this vehicle too -- the boys inherited it from the grandparents and each had a time of ownership during high school. The quote for this car ... "If this car was any more crap, it'd have flies buzzing around it." If you ever want to hear some great tales about this vehicle, just ask one of the boys. Be prepared for some great 'Stang Stories!
Perhaps in the next decade we'll find a sequel to this book on the library shelves ... maybe including the Astro and Taurus : )


Tim Germer said...


So, all through High School I drove the crappiest piece of crap that ever crapped!? Oh crap, I owe Colin like $1.00 for his college fund now! :)

Brian Germer said...

Wow, you are kidding! It was a ugly mustang, but I didn't realize it was the #1 piece of crap car.

When we first inhereited the car, I was in 9th grade and was excited as not too many 9th graders already had a car. At first, I told people proudly, "It is a Mustang!"; however, I should have taken more note of people's unimpressed response after I told them it was a 75 Mustang II Ghia.

When I finally got to drive her, I was probably almost 17 and the car had been sitting in the garage for year. A naive first car owner, I thought it was just start up and run like a normal car should. If I had only knew...

No kidding - that piece of crap died at every intersection for over a year (even after initial repairs). It was embarassing! I was going to put one of those "makes frequent stops signs", but I figure people would still honk at me and flip me the bird. If only it did have flies hovering around it!! At least then people would think - "gee, that poor kid has to drive that piece of crap" and maybe they would feel bad for me whilst honking and showing internationally-recognized sign language.

You could follow people because it was constantly dying along the way, and at the drive thru you had to rev the engine to keep the idle going. I am sure I looked soo cool rev'in the crap engine in my Mustang II while waiting for a Whopper with heavy mayo!!

I tried to make it look cool, but there was no use. Tim made the best attempt...but the crappiness started to eat back through the spray paint.

Other features:
- a cool AM radio (luckily back then 94.7 knrk was actually on AM)
- a fan that only blew hot air - even when set on cool
- trunk that we had to keep open with a board
- easy coathanger access around windows if you locked your keys in
- stylish bright red/maroon interior (at least pre-Tim)
- cracked and peeling leather top (thanks to JT Fauncher and Mike Barnhill and creative inspirations with shaving cream)

Yeah, those were the days...

Matt said...

The Stang was craptastic! I used it as alarm clock for Tim every morning. "KABOOM!" and then ran B E A Utifully like a boat... Just like the new VW commercials Tim De-Pimped the ride, haha, the black spray paint and the black unkempt carpet gave it some personality! Long live the Stang with the tape deck playing Fat Boy Slim! :)